Youth

Sexual abuse happens in almost every community, all over the world - approximately 1 in 4 females and 1 in 8 males. To change this we all need to be informed about what it is and how to prevent it.

90% of people who experience harmful sexual behaviour know the person who did it to them.
\n10% of people who experience harmful sexual behaviour do not know the person who did it to them.

It doesn't matter how a person was dressed, how much alcohol or drugs they'd taken or if they had sex before - a person is never to blame for their experience of sexual abuse. The person with sexually abusive behaviour is the one who is responsible and whose behaviours are illegal.

If you are turned on and really want sex with someone and the other person doesn't consent to it, then STOP. Some people have this idea they'll get so horny they won't be able to stop. Of course you can! Just imagine how quickly you could stop if your parents walked in on you!

You have the right to not consent to your partner's sexual requests. They have the responsibility to stop and respect your decision.

For a more detailed guide through the specific steps to consent, visit the Sex'n'Respect website here.

While we do not support underage drinking or drug use, there are a few things you should know if you or others around you decide to do either. It's important to consider your safety and the safety of others.

1. Think about it 

Is your behaviour respectful when you use alcohol or drugs? If you can't be respectful towards yourself or others when you are wasted - it's time to do something different. Being wasted is no excuse for any kind of disrespectful or harmful behaviour.

2. Make a plan

If you do choose to use alcohol or take drugs, have a plan:

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• Know who you are going with and that the plan is shared.
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• Know where you are going and how you are getting back.
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• If you give yourself a drinking limit, stick to it.
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• If you are planning to have sex, take protection. First, check that your partner is not too drunk. If they are, they can't consent.
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• Know who to call if something goes wrong. 
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3. Take action

If you or your mates, or any other person, is being disrespectful or being harmed - take action. Step up and speak out and be an active bystander. 

4. Get help when you need it 

Even if it may involve getting in trouble with your family, teachers or police, ask for help if you need it. 

Some other basics:

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• Don't accept drinks from people you don't know.
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• Watch how much you're putting away. You may just want to feel out of it, but there are consequences for your physical, mental and emotional health.
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• See how your body responds when using alcohol or drugs. When your body says "enough," stop!
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Drugs and alcohol are often used by people who are sexually harmful to make it easier to get what they want from others. Sometimes they might target someone who's already off their face or they might give someone alcohol or drugs without their knowledge.

If you are not sure if someone is too wasted to consent to doing sexual things, STOP. It's better to hold off until they are sober.

Take notice of what is going on around you. If you see problems coming up, try to step in as early as possible. Take responsibility. We all have a role to play in stopping disrespectful or violent behaviour in our communities.

If you are unsure of the right move, get others to help you work it out. But also, check your safety before stepping up and speaking out.

When a friend tells you that they experienced sexual abuse, keep in mind your friend really trusts you, and there are a few things you can do to support them. Here are the important ones: 

Listen

Sometimes people just need to be heard and not judged. Your friend does not expect you to solve the problem; they may just want your support.

Believe

It is not your place to say whether what your friend is saying is true or not. If your friend trusts you, believe them. Take them seriously. 

Support

It is not up to you to fix the situation. Support their decisions about what they want to do. 
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There are a few things you can do if your friend wants to get help:

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• You can help them make the first call
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• You can go with them
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• You can check in with them afterwards
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Be patient, don't push your friend into anything they're not sure about. It's important to let them make final decisions so they feel like they're in control.

Three things to help you decide if you should tell someone else:

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1. If they are still at risk of getting hurt.
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2. If they are at risk of hurting themselves.
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3. If someone else is at risk of getting hurt.
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It is really important that you do tell someone who can help them. Supporting a friend can be tough. It's ok to get support for yourself.

Online bullying and harassment, or stalking online or on mobile is illegal. You might be mad at them or just playing around, but this type of action can seriously hurt someone. If someone is hassling you online or by text, talk to someone like a parent or teacher.

We know there is a lot of porn online. It's normal to be curious, but remember, it is illegal when:

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• Sending it to someone or making them watch it when they're not into it.
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• If kids are in it. It's child abuse. Report it to an adult or helpline and they can help stop it. 
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Porn is not reality when it comes to sex. If you are wanting to get some tips or knowledge about sex, porn is a poor guide as it's very different from real life. A lot of porn is disrespectful and even violent, especially towards women.