Causing harm – Youth

Families should always feel safe and nurturing. At any point when any member of the family feels controlled, fearful and harmed is never okay.

The main thing to remember is, except for a small minority of extreme cases, many people who cause sexual harm will stop their abusive behaviour if they get proper specialised clincal help. Recent research in New Zealand show that a vast majority do NOT cause further sexual harm after completing treatment, with only 2% of adolescents and 5% of adults re-offending*.

Children and young people are less likely to continue to cause harm than adults especially if they get specialist help as early as possible. Treatment provides people with the awareness and skills to prevent further offending so they can go on living constructive and abuse-free lives.

SAFE provides specialised treatment services to children, youth and adults who are causing harm to 17 year olds or under. If you need help resetting your life's course, click here to contact SAFE.

When children's emotional and physical boundaries are violated routinely, it may leave an unconscious feeling of distress, which could then manifest as sexual behaviours. This becomes a coping mechanism for them to diffuse their confusion, tension and anxiety.

The child or young person's age, level of stress in the family, presence of family violence and exposure to sexual material at a young age may influence the type and degree of sexual behaviour.

Aggression is closely linked with sexuality for children who are developing concerning sexual behaviours. When left untreated, these could compound and get carried over to adolescence, teen years, through to adulthood.

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• Are confused based on what they see on television, video games, magazines, movies or the web
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• Do not receive adequate adult supervision. When left alone they may be left with adults or young people who expose them to too much sexuality
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• Live in homes with a sexualised environment e.g. parents who fight about sex, sexual language, sexual jokes or comments about others' bodies, sexual gestures, watching R-rated movies or pornography around children
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• Live in homes with no physical or emotional privacy or boundaries i.e. not locking or closing doors in bathrooms or bedrooms, nudity in living areas, children's nudity and body parts being discussed and inspected beyond what's healthy
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• Children/youth who don't get clear age-appropriate info about sex & sexuality
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• Parents exposing the child to their own sexual attitudes or sexual talk
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• Are physically or hormonally different from other children
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• Other factors that could influence children developing harmful sexual behaviours include stressful or traumatic life events, feelings of rejection from their mothers, parents/caregivers with mental/severe physical illness, parents in jail or children being placed in foster care
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• Isolates and controls peers or younger members of the family
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• Threatens, criticises, intimidates and uses aggressive and physical abuse towards peers
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• Threatens to or actually harms pets
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• Is sexually controlling and may force sex on their partner
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• Minimises and denies their own behaviour, or blames the victim for their own behaviour
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• Coercion, force, bribery, manipulation or threats are associated with sexual behaviours
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If you're a parent or caregiver of a child or young person who is starting to exhibit concerning behaviours, remember that taking responsibility on the next steps will serve you and your child best, while self-blame is unhelpful and will only limit you. It's also ok to get help and support for yourself.
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\nA vast majority of children and young people who get the proper specialist treatment do not re-offend, with only 2% of cases re-offending. Treatment will help them significantly change their life's course and better equip them in navigating life through to adulthood.